At some point of time, we fail to implement response over reaction during confrontation as, we lack to understand the interchangeable terminologies . When we react, it is often emotions that takes the driver's seat and leads us to a destination which we later regret. People who are short-tempered often face scenarios, wherein they react through the form of anger instead of responding.
The reason I find correlation to this topic, as I had also struggled in being responsive during my temperament stage. Though it has gradually reduced with each passing of the year. Somewhere down the line it still resides in me. Each time I potray anger through my reaction, it feels like a gushing wave of emotions making it even harder to reach the shore. We tend to forget that the perfect way to surf those waves are through response rather than emotions.
When we respond, there is an arrangement of placing elements such as reasoning, logic before emotions. Response stirrups a better direction of an interaction.
Sunder Pichai's speech on "Cockroach Theory" did instil a sense of understanding these factors in reality.
Here's how his theory was stated in his own words:
At a restaurant, a cockroach suddenly flew from somewhere and sat on a lady.She started screaming out of fear.With a panic-stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach.
Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group also got panicky.
The lady finally managed to push the cockroach away but, it landed on another lady in the group.
Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama.
The waiter rushed forward to their rescue.
In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter.
The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behaviour of the cockroach on his shirt.
When he was confident enough, he grabbed it with his fingers and threw it out of the restaurant.
Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behaviour?
If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed?
He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos.It is not the cockroach, but the inability of those people to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach, that disturbed the ladies.
I realized that it is not the shouting of my father or my boss or my wife that disturbs me, but it's my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me.
It's not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me.
More than the problem, it's my reaction to the problem that creates chaos in my life.
Lessons learnt from the theory stated in his words were:
I understood, I should not react in life.I should always respond.
The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded.
Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always well thought of.
Being ascertain of our response creates a sense of healthy interaction and avoids emotional reaction which is often accompanied with unproductive arguments. We need to understand to gain control by being aware of the situation and letting response lead you towards resolving a conversation in an amicable way.
Hasta la Vista Folks !! 😊
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Wow! Very well written! And a very good take and perspective :) look forward to your next blog :)
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