At some point of time, we fail to implement response over reaction during confrontation as, we lack to understand the interchangeable terminologies . When we react, it is often emotions that takes the driver's seat and leads us to a destination which we later regret. People who are short-tempered often face scenarios, wherein they react through the form of anger instead of responding.
The reason I find correlation to this topic, as I had also struggled in being responsive during my temperament stage. Though it has gradually reduced with each passing of the year. Somewhere down the line it still resides in me. Each time I potray anger through my reaction, it feels like a gushing wave of emotions making it even harder to reach the shore. We tend to forget that the perfect way to surf those waves are through response rather than emotions.
When we respond, there is an arrangement of placing elements such as reasoning, logic before emotions. Response stirrups a better direction of an interaction.
Sunder Pichai's speech on "Cockroach Theory" did instil a sense of understanding these factors in reality.
Here's how his theory was stated in his own words:
At a restaurant, a cockroach suddenly flew from somewhere and sat on a lady.She started screaming out of fear.With a panic-stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach.
Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group also got panicky.
The lady finally managed to push the cockroach away but, it landed on another lady in the group.
Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama.
The waiter rushed forward to their rescue.
In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter.
The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behaviour of the cockroach on his shirt.
When he was confident enough, he grabbed it with his fingers and threw it out of the restaurant.
Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behaviour?
If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed?
He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos.It is not the cockroach, but the inability of those people to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach, that disturbed the ladies.
I realized that it is not the shouting of my father or my boss or my wife that disturbs me, but it's my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me.
It's not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me.
More than the problem, it's my reaction to the problem that creates chaos in my life.
Lessons learnt from the theory stated in his words were:
I understood, I should not react in life.I should always respond.
The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded.
Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always well thought of.
Being ascertain of our response creates a sense of healthy interaction and avoids emotional reaction which is often accompanied with unproductive arguments. We need to understand to gain control by being aware of the situation and letting response lead you towards resolving a conversation in an amicable way.
Hasta la Vista Folks !! 😊
We all have at some point been through situations that have tested our patience. We were knocked down by the challenges and felt a sense of burden to overcome it. At times, the timeline of struggle may have been extended over a time wherein you began to loose hope and try to quit in that course of time. It is always a tendency among us where we give up as we focus on the road that we are yet to travel to reach our destination. And instead loose the focal point of how far we have taken to travel all this while. The journey through your struggle isnt about the suffering but overcoming the adversity. We all tend to avoid but the purpose is to embrace it.
Sometimes the struggle that we go through can also be a boon rather than a curse. You may find this amusing but the reality, is always in the unseen that we find. The person we grow to be from the challenges that we face is what makes us stronger.
Let me take you through a story which would make you acquaint with struggle turning as a boon instead of a curse.
One beautiful afternoon, a young man was taking a stroll around his garden when he noticed a cocoon of a butterfly on a leaf. Thrilled to see an amazing transformation of nature, he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through a little hole of its cocoon.
After a while the butterfly seemed to stop making any progress. It was struggling so hard to get out! It looked like it couldn’t break free! It looked desperate! It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could go no further.
The kind hearted man decided to help the butterfly. He got a pair of scissors and tweaked the cocoon to make a larger opening for the butterfly. The butterfly emerged easily without any struggle. But unlike any other butterflies in his garden, it had a swollen body with small and withered wings.
The man was happy that he made the butterfly come out of its cocoon without much struggle. He continued to watch the butterfly expecting that, at any moment, the wings would dry out, enlarge and expand to support the swollen body, which would contract in time.
Unfortunately, neither its wings expanded nor the swollen body reduced. The butterfly crawled around with shriveled wings and swollen body, never able to fly all through its life.
Although with the good intention the man hindered the growth of the butterfly. The continuous effort from the butterfly to come out of its cocoon would force out the fluid stored in the body to convert it into the wings. What the man, in haste to help the butterfly, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle were the key to the butterfly’s beautiful body and wings.
Thus, sometimes struggles and challenges are exactly what we need to grow in our lives. Like, the struggle to get out of the cocoon gives butterfly its beautiful wings, struggles in our life makes us stronger and gives us wings to fly.
So, the next time you face challenges or obstacles in life. I hope you would be able to face it in a calm manner not only focusing on the cons but pros as well.
Always remember, it doesn’t matter where you are led to but what leads you there and how. It is your determination and your will that matters. Never let it cripple you or clip your wings.
